It is 16th of October 2009 ....Today i plan to tell you all about the current situation I'm having ....

Well almost a year gone, what actually I have had achieved in this year?
Answer is nothing.

When things come to a decision point I'm indecisive on what should I chose. For me now everyday is a challenge. I'm challenging on how to save and how to earn. For all people will have their challenge but for me and my sister the challenge raking in the 1st priority will be money.

If talk about money it is a long long story to be told. It should be way back to 3 years ago when my old bro, my dad start his own fruit business. At the 1st few month he was very hard working everyday go Selayang big market to order the fruits. Somehow when time goes, the lazy bug in his cell start bite him, he never go to market to order fruits, he just call to the fruits suppliers to ask what fruits is nice on that day and straight order from phone without take a look on quality, as result the quality is getting worse. Besides, because at first the business is consider not bad can generate profit, hence my old sis, my mom allowed my old bro to go out find his friends when he have appointment. But it is just sweet before bitter come, when time goes we realise that my old bro customers also got 1 characteristic, they only buy thing when my old bro is around, but my old bro always go out with friends hence we miss out many large business where they normally buy in bulk. Nonetheless, my old bro always give alot of unnecessary discount to his customer, come to the end the business failure, they owed suppliers 80k and loan shark 15k. Our suffer time come because of that.

My old bro because he used to be boss style hence ask him to go get a full time work is hard. What he do now is half retired status, he are doing a pest guard machine however his attitude to his friends really too sympathy, always sell then on discounted price hence each machine he just earn RM20, and he not every month got income even have also very less. What to do is my old sis now she work for 2 jobs, morning 9-12 she went to a construction management company as a cleaner then after 12 she go to petaling street help her sister sell bags. Her monthly income just 1.5k per month, every month she have to repay 1k to the suppliers then she just left 500 for her personal use. So now my house utilities is paid by my sister where she just work 1.9k per month after socso epf jz left around 1.7k plus she help my so called aunt to tuition her child to get 500 extra per month. But it is not enough to cope with my home use. My sis finance me 350 per month for my studies, then telephone + internet bill is around 200 per month, astro 110 per month, water bill around 50, so she her total salary just left 1490. 1490 she have to pay for our dinner every night, she have to buy the home use like gas, shampoo toothpaste. she have to pay my dad when he no money to pump petrol. She have to save money for her CIMA examination and membership and she have to pay for her Korean class. So every month what she left really just 2-3 hundred.

Well where my student fees come from? my old borrow it and some finance from my sis, what my old bro do? he just push all his responsibility to the 2 female at my house. Really feel piss off about his attitude. Well my old sis might because overload until her heart have to do surgery, so temporary I replace her to work at her sis there when weekend to let her not so tired but because my sis planing to resign from her current job so I have to look for high salary. My so called aunt just pay me 40 per day sometime will included 1 meal and no commission but it really too less for me to cope with my monthly expenses if my sis stop work and stop finance me. Well next Tuesday I'm going to Diners club interview but they pay is not higher just Rm5per hour and each application is RM7 commission. Somehow I think that if I work at Diners Club my mom have to force to work weekend also. If i stay at my aunt there work it is flexible for me to take leave when I need do assignment But work at there really DAMN BORRING and WASTED TIME. So what should I do. I'm feel that I'm useless and just a big burden for this family. I'm hope this year will end soon and I will come out to look for a full time then i can help my sis to cope with the family expenses ... ohya talk about expenses electricity my house per month is RM38x, we ask my uncle to contribute 200 but he always not on time pay us so what we do jz owe TNB 1st ... now we owed TNB 18xx sigh ....really feel stress. Somemore this sem alot of critical assignment. What to do. Stress. But yet life have to go on. Ganbateh. i scared to be poor anymore, even i already immune it but really i don't hope to pass this kind of life anymore in my future.